World Dryer - Cinema Middle Management

World Dryer - Odeon Cinema

The World Dryer claims a great many things and unfortunately fails to deliver satisfactorily on any of them. First of all, and we've been here before, activating it involves pressing a big button. Now men know this, female readers might not, but to a lot of men "washing your hands" means "holding your hands under the tap for as little time as possible in case they melt."

And as for soap? Many people seem to be afraid of it, as though soap is some kind of abrasive chemical that upon contact disintegrates flesh & leaves two gently steaming skeletal hands clacking against the porcelain of the sink.

How people come up with ideas like this I don't know.

The outcome of this is that people touch that big button with their hands riddled with e-coli, AIDS & god knows what other diseases. Kwashiorkor probably. 
Have I made this clear? I don't want to press this satanic plague knob

of death! And yet the World Dryer claims in actual text written on the actual machine that you can actually read that using it is more hygienic than paper towels. Who wrote this nonsense?! Never have I heard such obvious balderdash & pifflesquit.

As if this wasn't enough, drying time is weak & at its hottest it's barely lukewarm. I had such high hopes, especially as last time I visited the cinema they had Xcelerators in.

Unfortunately the world is clogged up with these average dryers which I shall henceforth refer to as Middle Management.

Next time I go to the cinema I'm taking a towel.