Thanks to a newly acquired ability to communicate with the dead I am able to expand the parameters of this blog to include interviews with many notable deceased persons. I hope to seek their wisdom and get a flavour of what hand dryers are trending in the afterlife.
Hello spirit, I hear you. What is your name?
William Shakespeare.
Haha brilliant. Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it infamy! I loved that...
Actually that wasn't...
I'm a writer too
Wonderful! Because I've written hundreds more plays I want to share with the living. So if I dictate them to you...
No no, nevermind that. What do you think of the airblade V?
What's that?
Well obviously it's...hang on, hang on. Will? You're breaking up...are you there?
I'm here.
You're not Shakespeare.
No, I'm Marie. Marie Curie.
Oh sweet. You know about radiation and stuff.
Even more since I came here. I've actually devised a cure for canc...
Do you prefer the Air Fury or the Xlerator?
What?
Oh for God's sake. You dead people don't know anything. I'm gonna go talk to some alive people. I'm really not getting anywhere here.
Hello?
Yes?
It's John here. John Lennon. Are you there?
Wow John Lennon! How's it going man?
Great. I'm just writing some new songs with Paul.
McCARTNEY?
No Paul Robeson. Who do you bloody think? Of course it's McCartney.
I KNEW IT! He did die! It's all true, that abbey road cover, the
Haha got you!
What? He didn't die?
Are you telling me people still believe that shit? I was just pulling your leg.
Hahaha, oh Lennon you are a card. Any wisdom you want to share with the living?
Yeah. Don't imagine there's no heaven or you're in for a shock. Ta ra.
See ya. Oh I forgot to ask: what do you think of the world dryer? John? John? Oh. He's gone. Nevermind. What a card, winding me up like that. Of course Paul died! Why else would he be barefoot on the abbey road cover?
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