I ran into this "curate's egg" in a Starbucks somewhere down the A14 on a drive down to Cambridge to visit my sister. I may not ever have encountered it if not for my father's weak bladder who was driving (my father, not his bladder).
The first thing that struck me was the name tornado lite. This seems a contradiction in terms a tornado by nature being very powerful. "Whatever next, " I thought, "Low fat hurricane? Tsunami dry?" But as I came to use it I came to understand why they came to name it as they did and why it was apt.
As it switches on the tornado quickly revs up to a terrific roar that appeals to all the manliest parts of a man, the same way a jet engine or a powerful car acclerating gives you a sound boner. I am man. I am mighty. I have dominance over nature. Give me tits. Give me curry. Put the footie on and pour me a stella. Today I shall be a king.
Except the roar dies down. And then starts up again. And then dies. Yes this is one of those irritating handdryers that will only work if your hands are in a ludicrously precise spot. What a waste! The tornado has power (so much so that it was moving the veins in my fathers hands), it has that lovely sound, it has heat and it would definitely dry my hands in seconds if it didn't keep switching off. It's a perfect example of how one design flaw can let down an otherwise great dryer. Sadly in the tornado lite's case the jet is also very narrow meaning a lot of needless hand jiggling to get full coverage.
Sorry tornado. It's back to the drawing board. Next time drop the lite part and maybe make a tornado XTreem. Something that will tear my hands off. As long as they're dry it will be my pleasure.
Finally, check out the sound recording below to hear both the way the Tornado Lie roars and the frequency with which it turns on and off due to its overly sensitive sensor.
https://soundcloud.com/myhanddryerreviews/tornado-lite-heatstore
Tuesday 7 January 2014
Monday 6 January 2014
Triptych: anonymous; Xcelerator Eco-Excel; Pro-Elec
It's been a busy week for me and hand dryers.
First off on New Year's Eve I played with 2 different bands at the King Edward VII pub. Now because I'm fond of the place I need to point out to any simpletons that a poor hand dryer isn't always an indication of a poor establishment. Often these things are installed long ago and the idiots who condoned them have long gone to make way for better staff.But they could replace them you say. Well I'm sure they could if you selfish folk weren't saying that over a 2-for-1 Tesco offer on frosty reception cider at home instead of supporting your local pub. Here's my point in the form of maths:
Drink at home = less money for pub = less money for quality hand dryers
But
Drink at pub = more money for pub = more money for quality hand dryers
Or to put it simply:
DAH = LMFP = LMFQHD
B
DAP = MMFP = MMFQHD
I might start a maths blog.
Anyway, as I said I was playing with 2 bands so toilet stops had to be efficient. I can already vouch for the efficiency of my penis so what about the hand dryer?
Well, this one didn't have a name or if it did it had been covered by a band sticker. You might therefore expect another watkins. Well this wasn't as bad as that but It did leave much to be desired. The power was reasonable but temperature reached lukewarm and no more, ensuring overall drying time was poor enough that I had a queue behind me. OK it was a queue of one but no man should be left behind. In the end I felt sorry for him and resorted to finishing off the job on the back of my jeans which always means marks off.
One more point, to activate this dryer I had to press a button. This takes us into a previously unmentioned area: hygiene. Now I used soap but I bet some didn't and hygiene is an important part of using a hand dryer - it's a big part of their superiority over towels after all. In this day and age is a sensor too much to ask for?
Temperature: 2
Drying time: 1
Power: 2
Hygiene: 0
Overall: Slightly below average
Luckily the next hand dryer is one that was comparatively a joy to use. I regularly discuss hand dryers with friends (what, don't you?) And a name that often comes up for those who have done their time at Odeon is the xcelerator. I'm not often at the cinema but I am a frequent library go-er and the Forum in Norwich has a lovely pair of xcelerator eco-excels.
The power and heat are most satisfactory and although drying time is not as fast as a Dyson Airblade that is to be expected. Taking the Airblade out of the equation this may well be the best of the rest.
Temperature: 3
Drying Time: 2.5
Power: 3
Sexiness: 2.5
Coming just below this the Pro-Elec.in Frank's Bar. Not a bad little number, quick drying time and sufficient heat but not as much power as the xcelerator. It's perhaps not one to go out of your way for but if you happen to use one I'm certain you will enjoy it.
Temperature: 3
Drying Time: 2
Power: 2.5
First off on New Year's Eve I played with 2 different bands at the King Edward VII pub. Now because I'm fond of the place I need to point out to any simpletons that a poor hand dryer isn't always an indication of a poor establishment. Often these things are installed long ago and the idiots who condoned them have long gone to make way for better staff.But they could replace them you say. Well I'm sure they could if you selfish folk weren't saying that over a 2-for-1 Tesco offer on frosty reception cider at home instead of supporting your local pub. Here's my point in the form of maths:
Drink at home = less money for pub = less money for quality hand dryers
But
Drink at pub = more money for pub = more money for quality hand dryers
Or to put it simply:
DAH = LMFP = LMFQHD
B
DAP = MMFP = MMFQHD
I might start a maths blog.
Anyway, as I said I was playing with 2 bands so toilet stops had to be efficient. I can already vouch for the efficiency of my penis so what about the hand dryer?
Well, this one didn't have a name or if it did it had been covered by a band sticker. You might therefore expect another watkins. Well this wasn't as bad as that but It did leave much to be desired. The power was reasonable but temperature reached lukewarm and no more, ensuring overall drying time was poor enough that I had a queue behind me. OK it was a queue of one but no man should be left behind. In the end I felt sorry for him and resorted to finishing off the job on the back of my jeans which always means marks off.
One more point, to activate this dryer I had to press a button. This takes us into a previously unmentioned area: hygiene. Now I used soap but I bet some didn't and hygiene is an important part of using a hand dryer - it's a big part of their superiority over towels after all. In this day and age is a sensor too much to ask for?
Temperature: 2
Drying time: 1
Power: 2
Hygiene: 0
Overall: Slightly below average
Luckily the next hand dryer is one that was comparatively a joy to use. I regularly discuss hand dryers with friends (what, don't you?) And a name that often comes up for those who have done their time at Odeon is the xcelerator. I'm not often at the cinema but I am a frequent library go-er and the Forum in Norwich has a lovely pair of xcelerator eco-excels.
The power and heat are most satisfactory and although drying time is not as fast as a Dyson Airblade that is to be expected. Taking the Airblade out of the equation this may well be the best of the rest.
Temperature: 3
Drying Time: 2.5
Power: 3
Sexiness: 2.5
Coming just below this the Pro-Elec.in Frank's Bar. Not a bad little number, quick drying time and sufficient heat but not as much power as the xcelerator. It's perhaps not one to go out of your way for but if you happen to use one I'm certain you will enjoy it.
Temperature: 3
Drying Time: 2
Power: 2.5
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